Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
