dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
