I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
