so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
