bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
