Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
