i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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