I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
