Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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