Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's never too late to be topless.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
