dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
"it" just moved
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
