If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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