it was like his penis was on wheels.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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