Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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