Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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