Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
