READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
