do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
