coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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