Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
