i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
