It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My liver is preforming stress tests.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
