I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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