Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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