I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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