just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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