So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
