Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm always down for nudity.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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