Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
