just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
