can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize