But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
