I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
