Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
