I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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