after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
