Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
