I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
