i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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