my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
