thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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