I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
