that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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