i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
