Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
