yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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