all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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