I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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