meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
