Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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