Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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