yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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